Goes to show, money cannot buy everything.
Amazing, but apparently true, the most powerful GOP Super PAC money man, Sheldon Adelson, does indeed don Depends under those dark suits. Numerous sources close to him have come forward with remarkably similar stories.
Apparently Adelson’s problem started with occasional ‘leakage’. This issue first surfaced in 2008. “He had a few incidents, but nothing in view of the public, ” one source reported. ”When it would happen, he would become very angry and animated. He would yell ‘someone clean this up!’. He seemed really embarrassed.” Others claim it was an open secret to his closest circles. “We just started bringing those disinfecting wipes,” said another source. “He refused to wear any sort of protection”.
However late last year, things took a ‘darker’ turn. ”He bagan to really struggle with his bowel control. Sometimes he would have to get dressed two or three times before leaving in the morning. It was probably denial - he is a really proud man.” Finally, after a horrific car ride in January, he decided to begin using protection.
“You can tell when he is pooping. He squints his eyes and gets a far-off look,” said one of his staff that preferred to remain unnamed. “He does clean up after himself, so nobody on staff needs to help with that, but we have been told to keep fresh Depends on hand.” It is rumored that he only carries with him one spare (in the bottom of his briefcase). “The only other sign that gives him away is the smell of baby power of his wipes. It overpowers his cologne.”